Yesterday was one of the worst days of my editorial career. Because of one person's meltdown, I spent my entire day putting out a fire not of my making. I missed two deadlines, and three other projects fell farther behind because of it. Friday is my clean-up day, and I got to do none of the clean-up tasks.
And, of course, Rachel is still ill, and Thursday and early Friday moved into that touch of pneumonia/fighting-for-each-breath ill. I had already missed most of work on Thursday, and Friday, I had to cancel my trip to Alabama to help my mom. So in between fielding emails and phone calls with this person and three VPs (who were supportive and trying to help solve the issue), I was on the phone to my sitter to see if we needed to take Rachel to the ER. One phone call (not about Rachel) got so rough I broke down, and hung up, finally giving in to the sobs and tears. I called my VP and said, "I can't do this anymore!" I didn't get lunch until 2pm, by which time I was shaking furiously.
Did I mention that when I did get home for a 10-minute lunch, the dog peed on the carpet?
By 4pm, I was a screaming maniac with a sinus headache. People were coming out of the woodwork to offer hugs and tissue, and one of my VPs lovingly suggested I do something about the twin streaks of mascara on my face. But I think we got the issue resolved. I won't know for sure until Monday morning. While Kim kept Rachel earlier in the day, Phyllis had taken over by 3, and, after I got through venting, she insisted we order pizza and chill out. Still hovering over Rachel, we munched pizza and watched The Water Horse, a really cute kid's film, which is just what I needed.
Phyllis's sister also spent the night, and the three of us kept a bit of a parade going through the night, checking to make sure Rachel was still breathing.
Today is better. Rachel is still a mess, but less of a mess than the past three days. I'm still angry (although I'm praying about it), and I still have a sinus headache. But except for the exertions of Rachel's treatment (The Vest, as well as three aerosol treatments, pills and suctioning), the day has been relatively peaceful.
In part because I finished watching a movie I've had from Netflix for a very long time, Into Great Silence. One of the more unusual films I've seen lately, IGS is a year long look at the lives of the monks of Grande Chartreuse, the head monastery of the reclusive Carthusian Order in France. They live the majority of their lives in silence, but as the camera follows them, you begin to see the value and honesty in these simple lives of meditation and faith. There is no musical soundtrack, only the echoes of their lives, and the peace of it became quite contagious.
Of course, I also talked to my former mother-in-law for awhile. She'd sent Rachel a birthday gift, and I had forgotten how much she made me laugh.
I needed the quiet. The destressing from work if not from Rachel. And the reminder, via IGS of the immeasurable value in prayer and the silent moments of our lives.
Posted by ramona at May 3, 2008 06:16 PM