Thoughts and Musings

A Window of Irony

Just after my last post, a friend (who doesn't read the blog) gave me a copy of the movie Secret Window. She wasn't even trying to feed my current obsession. She just thought it was a movie I'd enjoy.

It's about a writer. Who spends WAY too much time shut up in his cabin alone.

It's based on a Stephen King novella, and I'm not a big fan of Mr. King. I've read a few, and I love his characters, just not most of his plots. But this is definitely a character-driven story, and I truly enjoyed the movie. I didn't get the full impact of the tension, which is, of course, the danger of watching such a film at home with the phone, the kid, and the broken furniture (that last one is another story for another day...).

If you do rent or buy it (which I do recommend), be sure you watch the behind-the-scenes interview with the writer/director David Koepp. He has a couple of intriguing comments on the nature of writers and our lives. That the one essential part of us, the heart of our livelihood, our soul, that which makes us what we are--our imagination--is also the very thing that can bring us our deepest torments. That it's something that we can't turn off, merely control at times, and our thoughts are always busily creating some world or other. One of the dramatic points in the film is that Mr. Depp's character, Mort Rainey, was so often "gone" into his writing that his wife felt abandoned and lonely.

Terry Brooks, in Sometimes the Magic Works, makes a similar point, even noting that his kids have learned to make sure they have his full attention before speaking. "Earth to Dad!"

One comment from Mr. Koepp really caught my attention: Writers can be plagued with "too many thoughts," uncontrolled, which can bring about a serious block in production because of the unfocused, untamable nature of them. He speaks as if this is a characteristic of creative folks alone. Until recently, it never occurred to me that other people might be different. Don't all of us have internal lives that are driven by dreams and imagination? One of my friends says, Yes. Another says, No.

Maybe yes, maybe no.

I, for one, can't imagine life without it.

Shifting Focus

Thanks for the emails of encouragement. :) Yesterday's vent was a spur of the moment thing--sometimes in life, we just have to scream at the walls. I don't usually do it in public.

I also ask a little forgiveness from the folks to whom I owe a few emails of my own. I've not forgotten...just trying to juggle a lot of plates, as most of us are, on a day-to-day basis. And the older I get, the faster those days seem to pass. Sometimes the only way I know an entire month has whizzed by is by the length of the gray in my roots!

This weekend, I'm going to try to regroup, refocus, and rewrite. It finally occurred to me yesterday (I can be a little slow on the uptake sometimes) that part of my problem, part of my frustration with the tiny things in life, is that I'm editing too much and not writing enough. So I'm hoping to hibernate this weekend, just me and the Rach. I want to put in one of her movies, curl up on her couch with my Dana, and type my heart out.

Writers need that. I have crime on the mind...great cold cases...mysteries that pull at the heart and soul....

Ah, such things as dreams are made. :)

I need a "Chittendon weekend."

"Lots of people hear voices. Some of them are called mad and are shut up in rooms where they stare at the walls all day. Some of them are called writers, and mostly they do the same thing."
--Margaret Chittendon

Life's Little Frustrations

I'm spoiled. I admit it. I like certain challenges, especially those that push me to be better and stronger. What I don't like is those little challenges that basically keep you from attacking the larger ones. Like emails that demand attention to the nagging details of life. Calls from people who want something--now--that you're not even capable of providing, although they want you to tell them who can.

Vague, I know. But this is a public blog, and I don't feel as if I can be more specific. Bottomline is that yesterday, I had people constantly in my face, demanding attention in a way that was preventing me from getting my job done. Truthfully, I don't get paid enough to be screamed at by folks who, while frustrated, have already been told that I'm not the person who can help. Once would be bad enough. Yesterday, it was seven...

Still, I tried. I sent a few emails out, trying to locate someone who could help. Don't know if it'll do any good. I'm hoping that just venting at me might help. At least four of these incidents occurred because of some minor misunderstandings, which had lasting consequences.

All of this is to lay out what I think is good advice to anyone, no matter what you do. I am sometimes lax myself about these steps...even though I had a very wise boss who tried to imprint them on my brain some time ago.

1) Get it in writing. No matter what comes to mind when you see that: job assignment, invitation to write, employment offer, request for information, contract proposal. Get an email, send an email confirmation after a phone call, write a letter. Whatever. Get the details (payment, dates, assignment specifics) in writing. Phone calls are too nebulous and the details too easily forgotten.

2) Follow-up midway through the job or task. Make sure you both still understand what's expected. And get it in writing.

3) Keep the writing in a file. Once you've finished whatever task this is (or had it finished for you), keep all the details in a folder for awhile.

4) And, if you are performing a task for someone else, invoice correctly and promptly. Follow-up so there are no misunderstandings. And if you don't get paid in 30 days, follow-up again.

Can you tell a lot of my frustration the last few days has to do with money and assigned work? And NOT a single incident. Seven over the past 24 hours, including one involving my own income.

I hate money; I love money. No, negate that. I don't love money; I love the things money can provide, mostly freedom. I have no desire to be screamingly rich. I would like to be debt free, live in my little cottage, and travel whenever the urge strikes. I'm not even that fond of 4-star hotels and fancy cars. In fact, I kinda like the challenge of unusual locations and peculiar people. I liked staying in a slightly cramped hotel on the Lower East Side because of the access to some great dives and intriguing people. I loved the Cadil ac Motel (yes, the L was missing on the sign, too) in central Florida because of the great story it left me with (even though we had to sleep on top of the covers and keep our shoes on). I loved camping with my friends in the North Carolina mountains because those folks were such distinct and amazing personalities that the trip created memories to last a lifetime.

Small dreams. Ongoing plans. Little frustrations.

Life. Y'know?

Excuse me....I have to go send another email.

Just a couple of prayer requests

No major writing stuff this morning, just lotsa busy going on. If you have a moment, say a quick prayer for few folks in need. One is fighting a tumor behind his eye, and surgery is such a life risk, they're going to try other therapies first. Two others are looking for jobs, which always a trial to mind and heart.

I know that not too many people read here, but even one prayer can be a mighty thing.

More later.

A Little Hot Water Is a Good Thing

OK, here's to everyone staying healthy and my mind staying off Captain Jack for a few days. I have, once again, said yes to far too many things. Not that I can't get them done...but doing so leaves no spare time in the schedule for things like illness and unexpected changes.

Sometimes I think I like the pressure. Always did I guess, which explains why so many college term papers were finished at 4am on the day they were due. Either that, or I have an inherent laziness about getting things done. Let's hope for the former. :)

That's one reason that I set my own deadlines for most of my writing. Sometimes I can't quite...get...there....but mostly it helps. That focus of knowing I've promised--if only to myself--that I'll send that proposal to that agent, or that book to that editor, or this article to that magazine helps me get the writing done.

It works. I have a friend who set a goal of writing at least 100 words a day. That's not a lot of words...this blog enter is almost at 200 right here...but the discipline is one that has turned her into a serious writer. She's not missed a day on her goal in more than two years.

So...what are your goals today? Hope they involve dreams and lots of follow-through. I'm off to the pressure cooker...but heat can be a good thing. While not specifically speaking of writing, G. K. Chesterton once said something I really like: "I like hot water . . . it helps keep you clean."

Strength Finding

Yesterday, I took a test. (Yep, adults still have to take tests.) And it wasn't just one that showed that I needed to spend more hours on the treadmill and fewer decades gazing at the chocolate pastries in the Panera display case...

It was a "strengths finder" test. Based on the best-selling Now, Discover Your Strengths, the test revealed that I had five major strengths:

Input
Communication
Ideation
Self-Assurance
Command

After consulting the explanations in the book, my loose interpretation of this result is that I love learning and archiving new ideas, facts, and concepts, turning them into stories, and making people sit and listen to them.

Duh. That part I knew. Too bad they can't tell me WHAT stories people want to hear most. ;)

Sometimes we already know how to make the passion come to life (aka our strengths)...the real trick is finding out what the passion is. I personally think this is a lifelong journey, at least for me.

If you're also striving toward this, check out McNair Wilson's blog, Tea with McNair. I've mentioned Mr. Wilson before, after returning from the Blue Ridge Christian Writers Conference, where he was a keynote speaker. I love his blog (check out especially the entry from 7/10, "you have no sequel"), mostly because of his take on the creative process. I may not agree with everything he says, but his thoughts are ones to take into your archived collection of thoughts and ideas and mull over carefully.

For now, I have more mulch and fodder to toss about...

Mulch and Fodder

"I can't believe how much you've turned into a gardener!" I've been hearing this a lot lately. Usually accompanied with an amused snicker.

Yeah, okay, so killing plants has long been a hobby of mine. I owned a house in the 80s, rapidly discovering that while I liked being outside, I hated yardwork. Seriously. Hate. I like groundcover and wandering animals. Lots of trees. And I swore I'd never own another home until I could afford a lawn service.

Now I've bought a house that had been pristinely, but simply, landscaped. SIMPLY being the optimal word here. Bushes. Lots of mulch. Rocks and the occasional stone lantern. So with an eye toward maintaining my resale value, I've become quite adept at shoveling mulch and trimming bushes. I also have a sunporch, so a few potted plants have found a happy home...but let's remember that said plants might have already expired if I didn't have a couple of friends who are greenthumb queens. They remind me about watering, food, and misting...or they just do it themselves when the peace lilies and the impatiens start looking parched and droopy.

I remind them that the reason I've become the rock and mulch queen is that you only have to do it once a year. And the grass? Well, the homeowner's assocation cuts the grass and has a whole crew of hired cute guys who wander through with the weedeaters. So I guess I do have a lawn service. More or less.

What does this have to do with writing? It's fodder. Life is fodder. And, sometimes, mulch is fodder. After all, who knows? One of my heroines may inherit a pristinely but simply landscaped home, with a handsome, single guy living next door.

Oh, didn't I mention that I have a handsome, single guy living next door? ;)

Writing on the Run

Literally. Yesterday I tried something new. I took my handy dandy Dana and propped it up on the front of the treadmill, thinking, "Here's 30 minutes I could spend writing!" After all, I usually walk with my eyes closed, plotting out those next few pages.

What I'd forgotten is that I don't read on the treadmill because of an unfortunate tendency toward vertigo...and the desperately undesirable results.

Two paragraphs later--badly mistyped paragraphs, I might add--I abandoned the effort. Even though I'm almost always writing in my head (when it's not occupied with minor details like work), not even the Dana solves the problem of finding the time to get it out of my head and on to the screen.

At least I tried. Now...if I can just find the time to get the three chapters that are fully formed in my head. I've been somewhat blocked on the current book, but the words have started flowing like water. Argh!

In the meantime, speaking of "Danas"...I HIGHLY recommend Dana Stabenow's Kate Shugak books. I'm listening to the unabridged versions on CD, and am thoroughly enchanted.

In a strange and blessed way, my discovery of her books was an answer to a small, heart-felt prayer...one that was in conjunction with a much larger prayer. We'll see....

What a Difference a Year Makes

This was my daughter, last year on the 4th. The Make-A-Wish Foundation had delivered this enormous gift of a trip to the Nashville fireworks, one of the biggest celebrations in the nation.

This year....we stretched out in her room, watched them on tv, and listened to the amazing celebrations going on around us. Where we used to live, we may have heard a few bottle rockets. In our new neighborhood, they are all about celebrating the nation's birthday. Lights, booms, and whistles sounded until almost midnight.

Like a new year starting. I could use a few new beginnings. Can't we all?

Back...and thank you

Thanks to all those who wrote and offered up prayers and hopes. They are much appreciated. The last few weeks have been...difficult. But life is always an adventure, in some form or fashion.

I also appreciate the patience of those to whom I owe emails and phone calls. Please hang in there with me a little while longer. I'm getting there...

I'll write more as soon as I can.