One of the jobs I was doing this weekend was reviewing the master DVD disk for a new edition of John Eldredge's EPIC Live. One thing he said toward the end is that if you wanted to get closer to finding out what your role is in God's story, take a look at the stories and heroes who've always fascinated you. The people--and movies/books--that you love.
Interesting idea. Just recently, I asked my spiritual advisor why I seem to be drawn to particular people in history. Sometimes their lives just capture me, hold on, and don't let go. I resonate with what they accomplished or how they lived their lives to the point that I become a little obsessed with them.
This started when I was quite young. My first two heroes were Daniel Boone and Amelia Earheart. My favorite woman in the Bible is Abigail. The moment I read her story, I latched on with a fever. I'd still like to write a biographical novel about her one day. Recently, one of my passions has been for John Wilmot.
I'll have to think more about this later: at first glance my list of heroes seem unconnected in their faith, dreams, goals. All they seem to have in common is an extraordinary ability to take risk. After all, the one line from a movie about John Wilmot that grabbed me by the throat was: "Any risk worth the effort always involves personal sacrifice."
I have to remember that when I ignore the blog, spam sets in, almost like a reminder of my frequent "blog atrophy..." I still remember coming in after an absence and finding 65 porn spam comments...took forever to clear them out.
Truth is, I'm barely treading water these days. I'm still not writing much because my day job is consuming me. Too much work for too little staff. I have been working on projects this weekend, and still have lots to do tonight. I've also been ill, which took the wind out of my sails Friday and most of yesterday.
But I had a long talk with one of my friends/spiritual advisors last night. I'm going to be more mindful of the good things in my life, and spend less time moaning about all that I can't get done.
But I've also JOINED a couple of groups lately, and I'm a little befuddled about it. One has had good results, which I've mentioned here before (I think). Back in December, I joined Weight Watchers, so far I'm down 10 pounds, with way too much to go. But working on it. I also joined eHarmony, sort of a last ditch effort at online dating. I've had lousy luck with the other sites, and not always because of my looks/weight, although that's been an issue with a lot of guys.
This is to be expected, and I always post my picture, usually full length. If this is going to be a problem, I don't want either of us wasting our time. I don't mind if guys don't want someone overweight; we like what we like. I have my own physical preferences as well, although I try not to rule anyone out because of the way he looks.
Usually, I don't have to. I have enough trouble finding a match that works above the neck. For some reason, I seem to intimidate men.
ANYWAY...I'll try to blog more. Right now I have to review a manuscript for tomorrow. More later. Promise.
Sometimes I'm amazed at how fast the darkness can swoop in, and what can trigger it. The biggest two, as of late, seem to be a lack of accomplishment and a sense that I've wasted precious time doing something as simple as resting. I don't seem to know how to rest without getting depressed that one of the many things I want to get done...doesn't.
The last two weekends have been high stress, as has the last two weeks. I'm starting to "leak" - say inappropriate things to the wrong people, venting when I should be producing. Always, always a bad sign for me, a signal that the darkness is moving over and that I need to fight it.
I did get one minor thing accomplished last night...I cleaned my office. But I didn't write--either on the novel or the PR stuff I should be doing--and I can't find my paper cutter to work on the collateral material I'm supposed to take to Chicago. I did get the bookmarks made, but I need to trim them and fold the brochures.
I think part of the problem, too, is that I'm having a increasingly "dark" feeling about going to Chicago, as if something is trying to hold me back, convince me this is a bad idea. Whether it's my own gut or darkspot in my mind, I don't know.
A friend of mine calls this a "artist's depression," telling me that it's tied to the need to create, the need for the dragon to feed. We'll see. For now, I need to get a few things done before I have to go pick up Rachel in an hour or so.
Can it be SEVEN days already since I posted here?! Heavens, the time flies. I sometimes think, in the mornings, "time to blog," then wander off to pick up Rachel's room or something. Over the holiday weekend, I spent quite a bit of time dogsitting a sweet puppy, very well behaved and smart, except for his totally freaking out at being abandoned by his mistress. I learned a lot about myself, probably more than about the dog, but the time for writing and blogging pretty much disappeared at the end of a leash.
Then, just as I'm gearing up to work more on Clues...a friend of mind gives me her frequent flyer ticket, so I can head up to New Hampshire to promote A Murder Among Friends. I got her email last night, and I've been bouncing off the walls ever since. Now I need to spend some time putting together address for bookstores, libraries, book groups, etc., getting with Nancy about the trip, writing letters of introduction...
...and if I don't get make-up on right now, I'll be late to work. I'm meeting today with a couple of extremely talented authors. As a company, we're launching a huge product package...novel and curriculum for before and after a movie release. More about that later. The novel hits in July, then the movie, from Dimension Films, will hit at the end of October. Curriculum will release before and after the film. So I need to get cooking. More on all of that later.
I hope you're all out there writing...and making major headway on your New Year's resolutions. I am still working with the designer on the website updates...and I'm down almost 7 pounds.
So far, so good. :)
In the next few days, I'm going to put up the details of a contest, the prize to be a selection of free books. This will involve reading Murder. :)
I know a lot of writers have used contests as a promotional tool, not only to get the word out about their book but also to get closer to their fans. That's the part I find truly cool about it. More to come on this later.
In the meantime, I'm trying to put together some promo giveaways for the Love Is Murder conference, which is the first weekend in February. So if anyone out there is in the Chicago area, drop me a note (ramona01@ramonarichards.com). Maybe we could meet for coffee.
Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever get jaded about such things as this: Romantic Times not only gave A Murder Among Friends 4.5 stars...it was also a series romance TOP PICK for February.
I've always been told that for your name or product to register on a consumer, they have to hear it (or see it) at least three times. Thus was born some of the more annoying (but memorable) commercials on the planet. I realize that the mentions are tiny (in both type size and reference), but my name appears three times in February's issue: In the Top Pick listings in the front, in a summary of the romantic suspense panels for the upcoming convention, and in the review.
I can't quit smiling. I also know that by tomorrow, I need to garner perspective and get down on my knees. In thanks, but also to remember the source of all blessings...and that does NOT mean my own ego.
Instead, I need to read fiction that startles and challenges me--Dunnett, Tremain, Meek--and non-fiction that reminds me of the bigger picture. That biography of Lord Rochester still awaits...and today I almost bought John Gribbin's sequel to In Search of Schroedinger's Cat called Schroedinger's Kittens. Or maybe a Feynman instead. These are what's waiting at home.
And write. Then write some more. Laurels are nice...but they wilt.
Thanks for what is...and for what lies ahead.
Sorry for the absence (although it's briefer than some have been!). I'm just sitting on top of three major deadlines that have consumed my mind, and in the background, lurking, waiting for his place in the line of consumption is John Wilmot. More about that later, as I snatch bits and pieces from a biography of him (Graham Greene's Lord Rochester's Monkey).
Another one of those intense tangents my mind gets locked on, like a ferret on a rathole.
Will be back soon, hopefully with a note about writing and what rathole tangents have to do with the development of a good story.