Yep, I had signed up to walk the half-marathon course in the Music City Marathon, which runs today. I dropped out, for reasons mentioned before. In hindsight, it was a good decision. I had a horrible night, woke up sore and cranky, stopped up with allergies, and just in general in a lousy mood. I didn't even walk the dog until almost 10.
But choices for the rest of the day remain varied and necessary. I need to:
Write.
Clean out spots in the garage for more of Mom's stuff.
Write.
Buy groceries.
Write.
Meet up with a friend.
Write.
Make some phone calls.
Write.
Answer email.
Write.
Blog.
Write.
Yeah, OK, you see what's the most pressing duty. That May 16 deadline is looming, and today is a perfect day to write. Cloudy and cool. Of course, that also makes it a good day for a nap....
Focus, rr, focus....
I have a five-year plan in mind, which I'll talk about later. Right now, it feels remote and foreign. Need to get my drive back.
And write.
Yeah, I have a little David Bowie in my head this morning...
Thanks to everyone who's asked about the layoffs at Thomas Nelson this week. I still have the day job. Morale is beginng to recover. Obviously, not a lot of productive work has occurred as the ones leaving have said their farewells, cleaned offices, and transferred duties. The rest of us are still dealing with new responsibilities, new reports, and new bosses (in some cases).
I'm one of those. I have a new boss and new responsibilities. I just don't know what they all are yet. In the meantime, I'm still trying to be available for my mom to discuss the assisted living shift, work my schedule so I can go back down there next weekend, and find a way to organize my increasingly crowded garage to bring in more stuff.
Also received word that the bathroom refit costs were approved by the state, so sometime in the next two months, Rachel's bathroom will be ripped out and made handicapped accessible. I'm speaking at a writer's conference starting May 18th.
And I still have a book due May 16th. Depending on how this weekend goes, I may write my editor and request a two-week extension. Life has just suddenly become rather . . . complex. Could be worse.
It's a time I MUST MUST MUST count blessings. Friends. Job. Home. Rachel's health. Mine. My writing. All are astonishing blessings.
I dropped out of the Music City marathon. I just couldn't do that and everything else as well, plus I'm having a constant pain in one ankle, and my stamina (and mood) haven't recovered from my bout with the flu. And it wasn't something I was looking forward to with excitement and anticipation. I dreaded it. I just didn't need one more thing stressing me right now.
BUT God is good. Always. Jehoveh Jireh is something I live by, embrace, and rely on every day.
They say such things come in threes. Good. Bad. Those events that snag our attention and hold on with clutching claws, usually around our heart. My ancestors, the Welsh (Celts) had this down to a fine art, and I suppose that still echoes around us. Sometimes we embrace them. Sometimes we wish they would simply stop. But, like life, there’s only one ultimate stopping place.
So, for three weeks in a row, I’ve been to a funeral of a beloved friend. Jason. Bill. Now Sneed. One of the “fathers” of our church, he was one of the gentlest, wisest, most talented men my path has ever crossed. So loved that we draped his choir chair with his robe and will retire it, turning it over to his wife of 63 years. I couldn't stop crying.
I hope that it’s only three. This weekend, I will be spending time with my mom, who has decided to move to assisted living. She’s emptying the house and preparing it for market. Every couple of days I get a call asking me if I want something out of the house. This week it was my high school graduation gown.
Oh. My. These are, indeed, cherished possessions, but I have a small house and no heirs. It appears this is going to be “going away” time in my life. In some ways I will be embracing it. In others . . .
Deadlines tend to suck the energy right out of my life. They stress me to the point of acid reflux, they swallow interest in almost everything around me, and they make me want to procrastinate, which I once had a counselor tell me that was my little attempt at controlling my life.
Hm. Let's not go there right now.
All I can say is that I am almost past one deadline, am about to work on another, and I still have the next book looming out there, due May 16. It's going to be an interesting month or so.
But this is the world of the working writer. The more you work, the more work you get. Deadlines are a part of the business, and we all deal with them a little differently. I tend to go to movies to escape, then work late. I was up until after 1am last night, which made the 5am alarm a little painful. I also missed lunch today, which added to my grouchiness. So I'm due a little prayer time, a little reflection on being blessed that I can actually work as a writer, deadlines aside.
There is the saying that if you do what you love, you'll never work a day in your life. Perhaps that's why when I come home from a day job in publishing, I go right back to the computer for the next deadline.
Unless, of course, I head for the movies...
I don't know a writer who doesn't have them, these moments (sometimes years) of adoration for writers whose work you admire. You study them, you read everything they write, you deconstruct their books and stories to see what makes them tick.
You do NOT, however, want to write like them. You shouldn't. You should write like you.
But...but...but...that little voice in your head whines. They're so GOOD! Why shouldn't I....
Just hush. You need your own voice. I need my own voice. Still....I've had so many, I've lost count. Most of them don't write Christian material...sometimes nothing even HINTING at Christian. But they don't have to. A good strong voice, solid beauty in the words, descriptions that make you wince or sigh, can be admired in any genre.
Those who know me immediately would name Harlan Ellison as number one. Oh, yeah. Since I was about 11 or 12. Dorothy Dunnett. Robert Heinlein. Mary Doria Russell. Others ebb and flow - those masters remain in my heart. Closer to my own genre . . . Steven Womack. Lawrence Block. James Lee Burke. Jeff Lindsay.
Sometimes I seem to find new folks all the time who's work engages me and keeps me reading. Tonight, it was Eric Jerome Dickey. He had a book signing at Davis-Kidd Booksellers. Friend Michele invited me (she was squiring him around town), and I picked up one of his books and sat down to wait for the reading. Forty pages later, I realized I didn't want to stop reading.
Who engages you? Who inspires you to pick up the next books or take a second look at how adjectives work? Who challenges you, mind and spirit? Or who just entertains you so thrillingly that you'd love to keep them happy and typing for a long time to come?
What do you most want to read?
Hard to believe it's been a week since I posted about Jason. Thank you, to the ladies who posted. I did go to the visitation at the church, which was packed with kids his age. As I was surveying the crowd, one mom said to me, about the kids, "I just hope they're paying attention."
Let us hope.
Sunday I received another email regarding a friend's passing; his celebratory memorial is this Sunday. Unlike last week's news, this one was not unexpected. Bill had lived a glorious life. I met Bill and his wife Dayle in a screenwriting class, and they were adventurers of the finestkind. Dayle is a freelance travel writer, and Bill, among other things, had been a pilot for Sky King. They had a charter boat on the lake, but spent a lot of time on the road. Dayle is from Australia, and when I first met them, they were spending six months in the US and six months Down Under - eternal summer. Please keep Dayle in your prayers during her time of adjustment.
I've been knee-deep in edits, both on THE FACE OF DECEIT and my day job. But much of that is behind me, and I must turn back to finishing the manuscript for #3. I need to finish judging a few contest entries, first, then more writing. I re-joined the American Christian Fiction Writers, and have been fielding a few promotional efforts.
Thus...no blogging. But I hope to get back to it now...with the writing comes more ideas for blogs.
Busy is good. :)